Just before Easter, I had dinner with an old friend, who came up to Connecticut from Georgia for the holiday and two other remarkable occasions. A couple whom she had known for years had hit a rough patch a decade ago which nearly destroyed all they had built. Through enduring faith and commitment, they reunited and planned to exchange vows once again as a symbol of their steadfast love. But that’s not all. Their story is an extraordinary one.
After 12 years of marriage and three children, Wendy and Sam, who should have been sharing their happiest years, instead saw their relationship crumble. Personal suffering and job loss led to constant arguing, betrayal and, eventually, alcohol.
Though her love for him remained, Wendy gave Sam an ultimatum: quit drinking or leave. Sam chose the latter, unable to maintain sobriety. A separation, not a divorce, resulted, for as Catholics, neither could break the sacrament of marriage. Devastated, the family prayed for reconciliation.
Sam’s drinking only increased, however. Rehab helped, but he relapsed. The craving for alcohol tempted him; the faith he once had wavered. Though baptized, Sam had not received the sacraments of Holy Eucharist or Confirmation and did not feel the deep, spiritual connection to the Church that Wendy felt. But others did, and God was working through them to reach this broken man.
At his third attempt in rehab, Sam connected with a sponsor who led a local Catholic men’s group. They bonded. Sam could not have told you why at the time, but something changed. He fought the relapses and stuck to his recovery plan. Though not living with Wendy, he called her each night with an update—and she listened. Sam listened too, not only to her and his supporters, but through them, God. He wasn’t ready to go back to Mass, but his sponsor encouraged him to join a men’s group meeting where friendships were formed over bagels and coffee and eventually attendance at the 8 am Mass.
Over time, in addition to his newfound sobriety, Sam realized a longing for that deeper, spiritual connection to God, and soon his sponsor in rehab became his sponsor in faith as he began preparation for those sacraments he never had as a child. It was this celebration, at last month’s Easter vigil, that my friend had come to share.
Sam’s own family came too, for just as he worked to prepare for his sacraments and to remain sober over the last six years, two months, and 23 days, he also worked at his marriage, knowing, that along with his faith, it was the foundation of his life. In time, Wendy saw that change in him and resolved to address her troubles as well. With a second chance before them, they planned to renew their vows, this time with their three children as witnesses. It was this celebration, a week after Easter, that my friend had come to share.
The following day, we took a walk before she headed back to Georgia. The church overflowed with joy on both occasions, she told me, with God a welcome guest at each one, for as scripture reminds us, with him, nothing is impossible.
