Monthly Newspaper • DIOCESE OF BRIDGEPORT

STAMFORD—Hundreds of people from Connecticut and New York came to St. Mary Parish to honor Our Lady of Lourdes with prayers, praise and petitions for healing.

They knelt before the Blessed Sacrament and prayed the Rosary, sharing their sorrows and joys with the Blessed Mother. They filled the pews and processed throughout the church behind her statue. They listened as Bishop Frank J. Caggiano spoke of his pilgrimage to Lourdes years before, seeking a healing for his mother, who was diagnosed with cancer.

The annual Lourdes Retreat, organized by David D’Andrea and hosted by Father Gustavo A. Falla, included a candlelight Rosary of the Joyful Mysteries said in English, Spanish, Portuguese, French and Italian, a Eucharistic Blessing and a reception in the church hall.

Lourdes, France, is most famous Marian shrine in the world, and more than 7,000 healings have been attributed to the intercession of Our Lady of Lourdes.

Every year, six million pilgrims travel there. Many go in the hope they will receive a healing at the spring she revealed to St. Bernadette Soubirous, a 14-year-old peasant girl. In the 160 years since the apparitions in the grotto at Massabielle, thousands have been healed in the waters, and 70 were recognized as miraculous cures.

In his homily, Bishop Caggiano recalled his own pilgrimage and said, “I poured out my heart to Our Blessed Lady and laid before her all my intentions…And to be brutally honest, I was very upset that my mom was sick, and so I had words with Jesus about that. In the midst of all those prayers, when I was finally exhausted by my lack of sleep — sitting there hoping against hope there would be some sort of sign or miracle — I began to realize Our Lady was speaking to me, not to my intention. She was coming to me, caressing me, encouraging me, drawing close to me like only a mother could do to a son. As I began to feel that presence, my anxieties began to diminish.”

He spoke of the calming words he felt in his heart from Our Lady.

“She was there for all of us, her children, as a mother willing what is best for them, and I had the sense in my heart that she said, ‘All things will be well; my Son is busy and will save all his children, all his family,” the bishop said. “Believe it and find peace.’ I would be a liar if I told you I had full peace that night, but this much I do know: She offered me the gift of healing: healing of my spirit, healing from all that confusion … and a bit of anger.”

He told the people who filled the pews: “My dear friends, you and I have come here with many intentions. Perhaps some of you are looking for physical healing, struggling with whatever disease you have, a disease that may incapacitate you, or even worse. Some of us are praying for those struggling with physical or mental illness or isolation or loneliness, who have been wounded by the sins of others and carried those wounds for many years. We pray that those wounds, seen and unseen, will be healed. And in time with grace, they will be, because Christ is victorious over all sin and all suffering.”

As Bishop Caggiano prepared to bless the congregation with Lourdes holy water, he told them, “I want you to remember that, as the water is sprinkled on you, Our Lady is offering you the grace of healing of spirit … She’ll not always heal us physically, but she can always offer us a path to greater peace, to greater hope, to greatness in our spirit, because she dwells within us, leading us to her Son, who is here before us in his Eucharistic Presence. She is the conduit and intercessor of all the graces that literally are flowing before us from him.”

Photos by Joe Pisani

He said that during his mother’s “odyssey of suffering, she never prayed for herself — she always prayed for those around her.” And he urged the people to pray for one another.

Commenting on the retreat, Father Falla said, “Praying to Mary has always been a tradition of our Church. She is our most valuable resource because she has direct access to her Son, from whom we have salvation.”

Erin Neil, Director of Safe Environments and Victims Assistance Coordinator, spoke about the healing ministry of her office and said those wounded by abuse can find healing through faith and through sharing with each other.

Greenwich residents Dave and Marie Micik, who was recovering from cancer, said, “The service was very beautiful and uplifting, and made you feel like you’re being healed.” Dave said they both pray the rosary every day.

Elizabeth Nista, who celebrated a 61st anniversary with her husband John, said she may never have an opportunity to go to Lourdes, but the bishop’s retreat inspired her and instilled stronger faith in her.

Diane Marino of Rye Brook, N.Y. and Phyllis Finn of Hawthorne, N.Y., said the retreat moved them spiritually and strengthened their devotion to Our Lady. Both are alumnae of Aquinas High School in the Bronx and join their classmates several times a month to pray for one another’s intentions.

Marilyn Sacco of St. Edward the Confessor Parish in New Fairfield said she has a strong devotion to Our Lady of Mount Carmel and plans to return to the retreat next year.

Antoinette Sicurelli of New Fairfield said St. Bernadette, to whom the Blessed Mother appeared, is one of her favorite saints. Her friend Peg Vanttorson said she always prays the Memorare to the Blessed Mother.

Deacon Santos Garcia and his wife Elba of the Cathedral Parish in Bridgeport are longtime friends of Father Falla. They were supposed to attend with another couple, but the woman came down with an illness, so they prayed for her. The Garcias pray the Rosary and Chaplet of Divine Mercy daily, often before the Blessed Sacrament.

Greenwich First Selectman Fred Camillo said he carries a Rosary he was recently given and has begun praying it again.

“The Blessed Mother always has your back and will help you with every issue in your life,” he said.

David D’Andrea, who organizes the retreats, estimated there were about 1,000 attendees and shared a story of his personal healing. Nine years ago, he was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer and was told he had five years to live. He credits his recovery to Our Lady of Lourdes.

“I am a devout Catholic and Mother Mary is everything to me,” he said. “And I believe she has saved me a few times.”

His devotion to the Blessed Mother inspired him to organize the Lourdes Virtual Pilgrimage in 2019, which more than 1,100 people attended, some of whom had physical, emotional and spiritual healing. It was followed in later years by the retreat in Stamford.

He expressed his gratitude to Bishop Caggiano, Father Falla, the St. Mary volunteers and all those who attended for making the event a success.

By Joe Pisani

By Joe Pisani

STAMFORD—David D’Andrea believes there have been miracles in his life. When he was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer, they told him he had five years to live. That was nine years ago. Today he is cancer-free and has been blessed with two grandchildren. At eight years old, he had polio and recovered from the illness. He is also a survivor of clerical abuse, and carries the trauma with him, he said. And through all these challenges his faith has grown stronger.

“I am a devout Catholic and Mother Mary is everything to me,” he said. “And I believe she has saved me a few times.”

His devotion to the Blessed Mother inspired him in 2019 to have a Lourdes Virtual Pilgrimage, which more than 1,100 people attended, some of whom, he is convinced, had physical, emotional and spiritual healing.

This year, he is coordinating another Lourdes Retreat, which will be celebrated by Bishop Frank J. Caggiano on Saturday, September 7 at 1 pm at St. Mary Parish in Stamford and hosted by Father Gustavo Falla, pastor. Admission is free although donations are encouraged.

The event, which will last about an hour, will include a procession with the Our Lady of Lourdes statue around the church, a candlelight Rosary of the Joyful Mysteries said in English, Spanish, Portuguese, French and Italian, a Eucharistic Blessing, a homily by Bishop Caggiano, distribution of Holy Water from Lourdes, and a reception in the church hall.

Lourdes, France is the most famous Marian shrine in the world, and more than 7,000 healings have been attributed to the intercession of Our Lady of Lourdes. Every year, six million pilgrims travel there. Many go in the hope they will receive healing at the spring she revealed to St. Bernadette Soubirous, a 14-year-old peasant girl.

In the 160 years since the apparitions in the grotto at Massabielle, thousands of people have been healed in the waters, and 70 have been recognized as miraculous cures by the Church.

The last retreat with Bishop Caggiano was in 2022. D’Andrea says he plans to hold the retreats every other year.

“We hope that having it in September will bring a massive crowd, especially because the world is a little crazy now, and we want to bring people together,” he said.

D’Andrea praised Bishop Caggiano for always saying yes when asked to celebrate the retreats, and Father Falla for his help in hosting them, along with administrative assistant Stefania Canneto who organizes the volunteers.

“St. Mary of Stamford is a wonderful parish,” D’Andrea said. “They are always ready to help. They are rich in faith and volunteerism, and I love that place.”

The free-will offering will be given to the church to help finance renovations, he said.

“I hope to see anyone at the retreat who has challenges personally or who has family members who are suffering physically, spiritually or mentally,” he said. “You do not have to be Catholic to attend. Healing goes across every religion.”

Erin Neil, LCSW, Director of the diocesan Safe Environment Office, will also offer comments at the event.

“Our Committee for Healing, a sexual abuse survivor support group organized through our office, invites everyone who has been wounded by any form of abuse to join us on this special day,” Neil said. “Members of our group include survivors of sexual abuse as minors by clergy and family members of victim-survivors.”

She said the Lourdes Retreat is an opportunity “to bring hope and healing and encourage those who have not yet been able to find a way to come forward to know that they will be listened to and accompanied whenever they feel ready.”

The Committee on Healing will also pray for all who have suffered abuse as adults and as children, she said.

“Members of our group find healing through our faith, prayer and friendship, and they are committed to bringing awareness and education to the community by promoting the Virtus programs, which seek to prevent abuse before it can start.”

D’Andrea said he has been inspired by the many people who have contacted him to tell their stories following the retreats. In his own life, he believes God has blessed him many times, including surviving Stage 3 cancer, which was diagnosed in 2014.

He credits his recovery to Our Lady of Lourdes through the efforts of his cousin, Monsignor Joseph Giandurco, pastor of St. Patrick’s in Yorktown Heights, N.Y., who celebrated a healing Mass for him and brought Holy Water from Lourdes to bless him when he began his treatment.

D’Andrea still has that bottle of Holy Water and continues to share it with others who are suffering or ill. And while he has never gone on a pilgrimage to Lourdes because of his medical challenges, he believes Our Lady was instrumental in his recovery.

“I have a great devotion to Mother Mary,” he said. “She has always been there for me, and when I was young, my mother prayed to her that I would recover from polio.”

Bishop Caggiano took part in the Virtual Pilgrimage in 2019 and conducted the Lourdes retreat two years ago.

At that time, the bishop, who has a profound devotion to the Mother of God, reminded the congregation, “Our Heavenly Mother has been there in every moment of every day of your life and mine, since we were conceived in the wombs of our natural mothers. What words can you and I say to express our gratitude for so great, so rich, so deep a love that she has for you and me? Being here today may be a start, a token of the thanks we owe to the great Mother of God.”

For more information on or to register for the Lourdes retreat, email lourdesretreatstmarystamford@gmail.com. For more information on the Office of Safe Environments or on the clerical abuse victim-survivor group, contact Erin Neil at 203.650.3265 or at eneil@diobpt.org.

By Brian D. Wallace

BRIDGEPORT—  Forgiveness and reconciliation are necessary for those trying to move their lives forward after abuse, but it’s a difficult journey, said members of the diocesan survivors of sexual abuse group at the recent Day of Hope, Healing and Recollection held at St. Margaret Shrine in Bridgeport.

In a day of prayer and conversation that began with Mass and included a powerful outdoor Stations of the Cross on the grounds of the shrine, survivors shared their struggles with abuse and their individual journeys toward recovery and healing.

“We are blessed to be part of this ministry of healing,” said Erin Neil, Director of Safe Environments and Victims Assistance Coordinator, who introduced the speakers.  “Those wounded by abuse find healing through faith and through sharing with each other.”

Those who participated in the conversation said they could not move forward in their own lives and the healing process until they could work toward forgiveness for their abuser. Through much hard work they now think of themselves as survivors rather than victims.

However, they were quick to point out that some young people did not survive the abuse because their lives and relationships spiraled out of control as a result of the abuse.

One of the most powerful symbols of healing was found around the altar of the St. Margaret Shine chapel where the newly ordained Father Jim DiVasto, himself a victim of clerical sexual abuse, celebrated Mass alongside Shrine Rector Father Peter Lenox, and Deacon Donald Foust.

DiVasto also led the Stations of the Cross with readings by members of the survivors group. The powerful reflections that accompanied each station were  taken from “The Way: Stations of the Cross for Survivors of Abuse,” written by Sue Stubbs MS, NC, Victims Assistance Coordinator for the Archdiocese of Atlanta.  They combined a profound insight into  the suffering of victims with a deep faith in the power of God’s grace to heal.

The reading for the 12th Station, “ Jesus is nailed to the cross,” included this prayer: “Lord, here at the foot of the cross is where I can choose to give up crucifying myself for the abuse I suffered, stop putting myself down as mattering less than others, cease condemning myself for what I had to do to survive, and stop blaming myself for not feeling able to change. Here I choose to nail the abuse I suffered to the cross with you and allow you to take on my pain, my wounds and heal them.”

 The first of two “Courageous Conversations with Survivors” included two or the founding members of the diocesan survivors group, Peggy Fry and Peter Philipp, who discussed the trauma of their own abuse and the steps they’ve taken on the road to hope and healing.

In reflecting on his own abuse that began in grammar school, Philipp said that at some point he asked himself,  “Are you leading the life that God wants you to lead?”

He believes it’s a question that all survivors of abuse must ask if they seek to free themselves from the harm done by the abuser and begin to rebuild their lives.

“Being abused doesn’t mean you get off the hook,” he said, as he urged survivors to live their lives fully, even if they have more to overcome than those who did not suffer from abuse.

Phillip, who taught at Notre Dame High School in Fairfield for years, said that victims of abuse may have a hard time believing in themselves, and that he spent many years in therapy to come to terms with the abuse.

 “It never should have happened, but it did,” he said. Speaking of his volunteer work as an advocate, he said, “I’m happy to supply the bridge to help others move from victim to survivors.“

Both Philipp and Fry help out with diocesan “Virtus” Safe Environment program that is designed to create awareness and prevent abuse. Through the survivors group, they also continue to reach out to all victims of sexual abuse.

Fry described herself as a “happy and outgoing girl” until she was abused by a priest in her early teens.  She felt embarrassed and ashamed, but like other victims she did not say anything right away because she didn’t really have the words to say it, and  didn’t think anyone would believe her.

However, she learned later that family members noticed a change in her, when her sister pointed out that there was not one photo of her smiling in her high school yearbook.

 “I really believe God saved me,” she said, adding that she never lost faith in God or the Church, and she gained strength by being able to share her story with other survivors.

Both Fry and Philipp point to the historic 2014 meeting with Bishop Frank J. Caggiano that took place at Fairfield University.  For two hours the bishop listened intently as survivors and family members revealed their stories of abuse.

“We said things that we had never said to anyone or each other,” Philipps recalled.  Out of that meeting the first healing committee was formed and the survivors of abuse began to play in important role in the diocesan response to the crisis and to the reconciliation effort.

In the second conversation Mary B., a new member of the survivors group,  discussed her abuse by a beloved family member. She didn’t want to hurt her parents or disrupt the family, so she told no one until she went to college and shared it with a boyfriend. He urged her to come with him and speak to one of the priest’s at school, who recommended that she tell her parents. It was the beginning of her healing process, which ultimately led her to forgive the abuser.

“I experienced a great hurt and relied on God’s help and grace. Through that I was able to forgive someone who caused me great pain,” she said.

Mary recalled that finally telling her parents felt like “a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I thought everything was fine and it was over,” but at that point, she wasn’t ready to forgive her abuser.

“Not forgiving was hurting myself,” she said, citing a retreat she attended years later, which led her to pray for his soul.  She cried at his funeral and was able to move on because she thought that God had forgiven him.

“I remembered him not for one horrible incident but for all the good he did in life. He was not a monster, he was wounded. By embracing the abuser’s brokenness we too embrace our wounds. Pope Francis said forgiveness is not easy, it’s a grace we have to ask for. My path to forgiveness was unique to me. Each person has to ask God’s help in the journey of forgiveness,” she said.

 Father DiVasto, who was ordained by Bishop Caggiano in May, spoke of the impact of abuse on his life, and his own unlikely faith journey to ordination after losing his mother when he was 12, marrying, raising a family and caring for his late wife in her long illness.  In his talk he described the hard work of moving forward and seeking reconciliation.

Reflecting on his own healing journey, Father DiVasto said that as he tried to come to terms with the impact of abuse on his life, he was terrified.  “I knew that I wanted to walk through that door despite the pain I knew it involved.  And I realized I couldn’t do it alone.  I needed help from a mental health professional and family support.”

He realized that the healing process involved discovering God’s grace, letting go of the anger, and taking the next step in his healing by “learning to forgive and experience reconciliation.”  It was a process that changed his life and ultimately led to his ordination after a 37-year career at the Knights of Columbus Supreme Office.

In her closing remarks Erin Neil , thanked everyone for having the courage to speak and share their stories, and she said it was important for people to be aware of sign of abuse and to speak up in order to save lives.

“This was an amazing experience to be in the presence  of real grace and blessing. The survivors have found strength in knowing God is with them and has not left them. A monumental task of forgiveness is not an easy journey, but they can forgive with God’s grace.”

To watch the homily delivered by Father Peter Lenox at the Day of Hope and Healing, please visit www.facebook.com/watch/live/?extid=CL-UNK-UNK-UNK-IOS_GK0T-GK1C&mibextid=l2pjGR&ref=watch_permalink&v=249086074496056

For more information, about the Safe Environments program of the diocese and the survivors group, https://www.bridgeportdiocese.org/safe-environments/home/  . Contact Erin Neil, L.C.S.W, Director of Safe Environment and Victim Assistance Coordinator with the Diocese of Bridgeport. Phone: (203) 416-1406   Email: eneil@diobpt.org

The following is a transcript Mark Joseph Williams reflection to the USCCB General Assembly:

As a clerical abuse survivor, a victim of a half-century ago, I am deeply grateful to have this opportunity to speak with you, the custodians of our Roman Catholic faith. You are entrusted across these vast United States to lead pilgrims of faith in the Joy of the Gospel. You are the primary evangelizers at this time here and now in all your respective dioceses. Pope Francis put it clearly and powerfully at the start of his papacy:

“May the world of our time, which is searching, sometimes with anguish, sometimes with hope, be enabled to receive the good news not from evangelizers who are dejected, discouraged, impatient or anxious, but from ministers of the gospel whose lives glow with fervor, who have first received the joy of Christ.”
Read More ››